The List II: Santorum, Huntsman, and The Rest.
December 22, 2011

 
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The Me-Too CrowdThis week raps up our review of the remaining “also-rans” in the GOP primary… the candidates that have never polled out of the single digits and never will: former Senator Rick “Don’t Google My Name” Santorum of PA (Oops! Shortly after posting this op/ed, Santorum became the last “Not-Romney” standing to finally break out of the single-digits into the Top Tier as we headed into Iowa. – Mugsy), former Utah Governor Jon “The Other Mormon” Huntsman, and Louisiana Governor Buddy “Who Dat?” Roemer (two more GOP candidates are “technically” in the race: Former NM Governor “Gary Johnson” and political consultant and gay rights activist “Fred Karger”, but neither are currently polling outside “the margin of error”, so I have absolutely NO information on either of them.) For each of the Top Four GOP one-time front-runners (all except for Ron Paul), I was able to produce a LONG lists of links to their general insanity and extremist positions. But the longer a candidate stays out of the spotlight, the more difficult that becomes. (I also had a nice long list for former pizza mogul Herman “Libya? 9.9.9.” Cain until he dropped out after it was discovered he’d been topping more than just pizzas for the past 15 years.)

There is very little danger of any of the remaining GOP candidates in this sixth and final list of ever becoming president, though there is always the possibility that one of them might be chosen as a running-mate or (heaven forbid) a cabinet position. So it’s not a complete waste of time listing why none of these remaining candidates should ever be be considered “Presidential” (or anything else) material.

The remaining GOP field looks like a bad Gilligan’s Island spin-off:
 

Here on GOP Island
(Click to Enlarge)

(Clockwise from top: Mitt Romney, Ron Paul, Michele Bachmann, Newt Gingrich, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum and Jon Huntsman.)

Rick “Don’t Google My Name” Santorum

Of the remaining candidates, former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum has about the best chance of actually pulling off an upset in one or two state primaries, but almost no chance of winning the nomination (much less the presidency). Vegas odds put Santorum as a 30:1 shot… miserable odds, yet (surprisingly) ahead of one person: BSC* Michele Bachmann… someone that has actually seen double-digit poll numbers… now coming in at 35:1. A horse with a busted leg has a better chance at winning a race than these whack-a-doodles.

Rick Santorum’s is probably the biggest Holy Roller in the GOP race. Bigger than even Michele “Jehovah God” Bachmann or Rick “Prayed for rain, God sent wildfires” Perry, Santorum’s entire campaign is based on bedrock GOP “Family Values” Conservatism. Not the “Family Values” of Herman “I Never Told My Wife About Her” Cain or Newt “Married His Mistress After Handing His Cancer Stricken First Wife Divorce Papers in Her Hospital Bed” Gingrich (whom he later left for Mistress #2). No, Ricky is obsessed with the “Family Value” of “God Hates teh Gays”. Ricky seems absolutely obsessed with gay sex (read into that what you will.) Before Googling Santorum’s name became a workout for your PC’s profanity filtering software, the former Senator was most commonly known as Rick “Man on dog” Santorum… a reference to him comparing Gay Marriage to Pedophilia or Bestiality in a 2003 interview. So angry was AP’s sex columnist and gay rights activist Dan Savage, that he started a contest amongst his readers to come up with something offensive that could be labeled “Santorum”, in protest of the senator’s bigoted ignorant comments. Once the winner was chosen (if you don’t already know, it’s REAL easy to find out), Savage created a website defining the term and asked all his listeners to Google-bomb his site (click on his site when Googling the Senators’ name), making his website/definition the #1 result when Googling the senator’s name. Pretty clever. So many people have since searched just to find out what the new contrived definition is, that the term is now permanently affixed at the top of any search of the former senator’s name.

Jon “The Other Mormon” Huntsman

Then there’s former 2-Term Utah Governor Jon Huntsman, former Ambassador to China under President Obama. Huntsman is easily the sanest, most moderate GOP presidential candidate… which instantly disqualifies him amongst today’s far-Right GOP ideologues. Like Romney, Huntsman is a Mormon, which instantly disqualifies him amongst Evangelical GOP voters. Huntsman has also said he believes in “Global Warming” and “Evolution”, which… all combined… makes Huntsman totally unacceptable to 98% of all Republicans. But before any Democrats think Huntsman might be worthy of their support, he IS still a Republican, believing in most all the remaining GOP insanity: “tax cuts for the wealthy”, preemptive war with Iran, and deregulation to aid Big Business. To make matters worse, stuck at the bottom of most polls since the day he entered the race, unable to break out of single digits, knowing how unpopular his “pro-science” declarations have been with GOP voters, Huntsman has walked back his belief in Climate Change, saying of the global consensus of over 8,000 climate scientists: “the onus is on the scientific community to help clarify the situation.” (translation: it’s THEIR fault Republicans are confused, not the GOP Misinformation campaign to discredit the science.)

And the Rest…

As I mentioned in my opening, there actually ARE other candidates running for the GOP nomination. One such candidate is former Louisiana Governor Charles Elson “Buddy” Roemer III. Every bit as Conservative as his colleagues on the economy, Roemer’s lead issue is the toxic effects of Corporate money in politics. “Buddy” hasn’t appeared in ANY of the televised GOP debates, where the “minimum requirements” for inclusion are to have polled above 5% in any state/national poll, and have raised several million dollars ($5 million IIRC). Roemer has rejected all PAC money, accepting only donations of “$100 or less” from individual donors. His most high-profile interviews to date have been his appearances on MSNBC’s “The Rachel Maddow Show”, where he called for an end to “tax loopholes”, “no special interests”, and “energy independence” that includes “wind, solar and nuclear power” as well as additional drilling “in non-environmentally sensitive areas”. Like Huntsman, Roemer shows signs of sanity that instantly disqualify him for the GOP nomination.

Links for the remaining GOP candidates are as follows:

Rick Santorum:

  1. Rick Santorum Borrows Campaign Slogan From Pro-Union Poem Written By Gay Rights Advocate
  2. VIDEO: Rick Santorum Says He Has ‘Nothing To Do’ With His Own Campaign Slogan
  3. Santorum: Ryan Is ‘Wrong’ Because He Doesn’t Force Current Seniors Into Medicare Privatization Scheme
  4. Santorum Pledges To Reinstate Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
  5. Rick Santorum’s Greatest Hits – 12 Most Offensive Statements
  6. Santorum: Poor History Scores A Result Of ‘Conscious Effort’ By ‘The Left’ To Keep Students Uninformed
  7. Inside Rick Santorum-Linked Universal Health Services Facility: Herpes, Porn and Drug Dealing
  8. Santorum’s Message To People Who Can’t Afford Health Care Costs: Lower Your Cell Phone Bill
  9. Santorum: Iran ‘Tramples The Rights Of Gays’
  10. Santorum Says Criticism Of His Views On Homosexuality Is ‘An Act Of Bigotry’
  11. Santorum: I Stand By My 'Man on Dog' Comment
  12. Rick Santorum Endorses Pennsylvania Election Scheme Because It Will Rig Presidential Election For Republicans
  13. Santorum: Honoring God Is Essential To National Security
  14. Rick Santorum Advocates Getting Rid of All Public Sector Unions
  15. Forget 9-9-9, Santorum Unveils 0-0-0 Tax Plan
  16. Santorum Flip-Flops: Protesters Were A ‘Fringe Group’ In The Morning, But He ‘Understands’ Them In The Afternoon
  17. Santorum Pledges To ‘Fight In Every State’ To Outlaw Marriage Equality
  18. Santorum: Homosexuality 'Is a Behavioral Issue'
  19. Santorum Compares His Fight Against Marriage Equality To Lincoln Fighting Slavery
  20. Rick Santorum wants to take away your contraception to ensure sex for procreation only
  21. Santorum: 'I'll Die' to Stop Same Sex Marriages
  22. Santorum: Dead Foreign Scientists a 'Wonderful Thing'
  23. Santorum: Americans Should Suffer
  24. As incentive to get off their butt and find a job.
  25. Santorum: ‘Our Country Will Fall’ As A Result Of Same-Sex Marriage
  26. Santorum: Insurers Should Discriminate Against People With Pre-Existing Conditions
  27. Santorum doesn't understand science (Wants Schools To Undermine Evolution)
  28. Santorum Is Outraged That Gay ‘Sexual Activity’ Is ‘Being Seen As Equal’ To Heterosexual Sex
  29. Santorum: Obama 'Doesn't Deserve Credit' For Killing Bin Laden
  30. Yet, if raid had gone badly, whom do you think Ricky would of blamed first?
  31. Fun Fact: Santorum Represented The World Wresting Association
  32. Santorum: We Don’t Need Food Stamps Because Obesity Rates Are So High
  33. I forgot about this one: Fox Radio host Alan Colmes reminds everyone how, in 1996, when Rick Santorum’s wife Karen gave birth prematurely at just 20 weeks, upon the death of the child, the Santorum’s wrapped their dead son in a blanket and brought him home to meet what would of been his siblings, ages 6, 4 and 1 1/2, for them to cuddle and kiss. (Reported by the Washington Post in 2005.)
  34. In 2006, Fox “news” reported that Senator Santorum excitedly pointed to the discovery of 500 discarded “Gulf War I” era (1991) munitions found buried in Iraq thusly: “We have found weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, chemical weapons,” Sen. Rick Santorum, R-Pa., said in a quickly called press conference late Wednesday afternoon.
  35. Rick Santorum’s Top 10 Most Outrageous Campaign Statements:
  36. 1. ANNUL EXISTING SAME-SEX MARRIAGES on the grounds that gay relationships “destabilize” society.
    2. ‘I’M FOR INCOME INEQUALITY’: Saying, “I think some people should make more than other people” because some people “work harder”. That’s not what “income inequality” is about, Ricky. It has nothing to do with everyone being paid exactly the same no matter the job. Santorum is an idiot.
    3. CONTRACEPTION IS ‘A LICENSE TO DO THINGS’: Santorum wants to outlaw contraception because he thinks it encourages “immoral behavior”. These are your “Small Government Republicans” folks. Deregulate business, but regulate personal behavior.
    4. GAY SOLDIERS ‘CAUSE PROBLEMS FOR PEOPLE LIVING IN CLOSE QUARTERS’: The repeal of DADT has been an unqualified success resulting in NO problems. Santorum wants gay soldiers back in the closet.
    5. “OBAMA SHOULD OPPOSE ABORTION BECAUSE HE’S BLACK”: Because blacks should understand more than anyone what it means to not be considered “a human being”.
    6. “WE DON’T NEED FOOD STAMPS BECAUSE OBESITY RATES ARE SO HIGH”: Rick doesn’t get that “cheap” food is also the least healthy.
    7. ABORTION EXCEPTIONS TO PROTECT WOMEN’S HEALTH ARE ‘PHONY’: Flat out calls exceptions to protect the life of the mother, “Phony”.
    8. “HEALTH REFORM WILL KILL MY CHILD”: Claims his disabled child would of died under in a country with “socialized medicine.” (like Great Britain or France?) Conservatives think “socialized medicine” = rationed care under the bankrupt “Soviet Union”.
    9. UNINSURED AMERICANS SHOULD SPEND LESS ON CELL-PHONE BILLS: Average monthly cost of a cell phone? $40. Average monthly cost of health insurance? $600.
    10. INSURERS SHOULD DISCRIMINATE AGAINST PEOPLE WITH PRE-EXISTING CONDITIONS: Like that disabled child of yours, Rick, whom you believe would have died if you lived in Canada?
  37. Santorum’s Racist Welfare Rant: ‘I Don’t Want To Make Black People’s Lives Better’ With Taxpayer Money. Santorum seems to equate “black” with “welfare recipient”.
  38. Santorum’s response the next day? “I didn’t say ‘black’ people, I said ‘blah’ people.”
  39. Last May, when Sen. John McCain denounced the use of torture to interrogate terror suspects, Santorum said of the former POW: “he doesn’t understand how enhanced interrogation works. I mean, you break somebody, and after they’re broken, they become cooperative.”
  40. Santorum: There is no Middle Class in America – Claims a distinction between “Middle income” and “Middle Class“. Still think these are serious candidates?
  41. Santorum Tells Kids With Gay Parents: You’d Be Better Off With Parents In Prison. – Cites “a study” that claims a child whose father abandoned then and goes in prison is better off than a child with two same-sex parents.
  42. Santorum Accuses Obama Of ‘Elitist Snobbery’ For Wanting Every Child To Go To College. – “Elite” is GOP-speak for “Reader”.
  43. Before running for President, Santorum was best known for his pro-Life activism. How obsessed? Santorum’s Obsession: As Senator, He Mentioned Abortion 1,014 Times.
  44. After Supporting Health Care Mandate In 1994, Santorum Now Says He Never Supported Mandates.
  45. Rick Santorum Lies About Calling for Congressional Intervention in Terri Schiavo Case.
  46. After this racist old crone supporter of Rick Santorum says to him that President Obama is a “devote Muslim” that’s “not legally president” (aka: foreign-born), rather than reprimand nor even correct his befuddled supporter the way John McCain did in 2008, Santorum instead just smiles and tells her he’s “doing his best to get Obama out of office.” (When asked the next day why he didn’t correct her, Santorum simply said he “doesn’t feel any obligation” to refute every Birther out there.
  47. Santorum believes it is a BAD thing that ‘Obama Wants Every Kid to Go to College” because it is part of a secret plan to “indoctrinate” kids into becoming Liberals. – College’s don’t “convert” students into becoming Liberals, it’s just something that happens once you become educated. Santorum is basically admitting that the only way to stay keep your kids Conservative is to keep them stupid.
  48. Santorum: ‘There’s No Such Thing As Global Warming’. – “There are hundreds of factors that cause the earth to warm and cool,” Santorum tells outgoing Fox host Glenn Beck.
  49. Santorum Tells Sick Kid Not To Complain About $1 Million Drug Costs Because People Pay $900 For An iPad. – If this clueless jackass wasn’t already irrelevant, he certainly is now. Ricky, people who pay $900 for an iPad 1) Make that choice voluntarily IF they feel they can afford it, and 2) if they had to buy a new $900 iPad EVERY MONTH, I suspect they wouldn’t sell very many of them. There’s a special place in Hell for clueless self-righteous “Compassionate Conservative” SOB’s like Santorum.
  50. Santorum Suggests Abortion Causes Breast Cancer. – In case you were wondering if Santorum could render himself any less irrelevant in this years’ race, Rick repeats the latest insane Right Wing fear-mongering myth that there is a link between abortions and breast cancer, which he argues in defense of the (reversed) decision of the Susan G. Komen foundation to cut off breast-cancer screening funding for Planned Parenthood. Promotion of this idiotic myth is not only incredibly irresponsible, it’s DANGEROUS.
  51. Rick has figured out President Obama’s secret plan: Obama Wants Female Catholic Priests.
  52. In response to news that the DoD will allow women in more combat roles, opening up new opportunities for career advancement, Santorum says: Women Shouldn’t be in Combat Because of ‘Other Types of Emotions’.
  53. When asked what he meant by “Other types of emotions”, Santorum explained he meant that men might be distracted by the need to protect a woman in ‘vulnerable positions’. (goes on to suggest women can fly ‘small planes’ rather than be put in harms way.) Demeaning much?
  54. As expected, Santorum Froths At CPAC About ‘Facade Of Man-Made Global Warming’. – I wish I understood the Religious Rights seething visceral HATRED for anyone that dare suggest we care for God’s creation.
  55. Santorum thinks it’s “absurd” that a Federal Appeals Court can declare a state’s Constitutional Amendment “unconstitutional”. – Wonder if he’d feel the same way if the state tried to ban guns instead of “gay marriage”?
  56. Santorum: LGBT Equality ‘Waters Down Marriage’. – Unlike Britney Spears’ 48-hour marriage or Kim Kardashian’s 72-hour marriage.
  57. Santorum In Idaho: Sell Off Public Lands To The Private Sector. – This adds Santorum to the list of GOP candidates promising to sell off public lands for corporate exploitation.
  58. Santorum: The Democratic Party Is About ‘Homosexuality’. – Everything you need to know about Rick Santorum beautifully summarized into a single paragraph by Rick himself:
  59. “Woodstock is the great American orgy. This is who the Democratic Party has become. They have become the party of Woodstock. They prey upon our most basic primal lusts, and that’s sex. And the whole abortion culture, it’s not about life. It’s about sexual freedom. That’s what it’s about. Homosexuality. It’s about sexual freedom.”
  60. “Satan is systematically destroying America.” – This is who Rick Santorum is folks… a dangerous religious zealot with a fragile grip on reality, and why he initially polled in the single digits until the last Not-Romney flamed out before Iowa:
  61. Santorum defends claim “JFK speech on the Separation of Church & State” made him “want to throw up. – Rick thinks presidents should be allowed to inject their faith into public policy and the Founders agreed (they didn’t). But Rick and his devotees are full of crap and I can prove it: These are same people that think “President Obama is a secret Muslim”, outraged that he’s “injecting his faith into Public Policy.”
  62. Lord only know where he gets this crap, but Santorum falsely Claims Rampant Euthanasia in Dutch Elderly. – And the Dutch are none-too-happy about it. Of course, Republicans making ridiculous claims about health care in other countries that then anger those countries is nothing new.
  63. Rick Santorum on President Obama: ‘What a snob!’ for wanting “Every child to have the opportunity to go to college.”
  64. Santorum: Contraception a ‘Grievous Moral Wrong’.
  65. In an interview, Santorum Implicitly Conceded the need For Obamacare when he pointed out that caring for his Special Needs Child took up much of his income.
  66. “We have to have around-the-clock care for her, and our insurance company doesn’t cover it so I have to cover it.”
  67. Santorum In 1994: Single Moms Are ‘Simply Breeding More Criminals’. – The Republican “War on Women” has been going on far longer than most people realize.
  68. Rick Santorum once again focused on being the nations’ “morality police chief”, promising a “war on ‘hardcore’ pornography” on his campaign website. This is after his condemnation of “birth control” for women as “promoting sexual promiscuity”. If he had his way, non-reproductive sex would be all but illegal in Rick’s Amerika.
  69. Rick Santorum is forced to recant after saying he’s: ‘Not Concerned’ About Unemployment, Country Needs A ‘Strong Fighter For Freedom’.
  70. The April Fool: Remember Rick’s ridiculous made-up “fact” about Dutch hospitals & Rampant Euthanasia among elderly? (above), well, he’s at it again, this time claiming (on April 1st) that “he read last night” that “7 or 8 of the colleges in the University of California system don’t even offer courses in American history.” For the record, 9 of the 10 colleges all have American history classes. The tenth… UC San Francisco… is a MEDICAL school. The remaining nine ALL require students to take an American History course to graduate.
  71. Remember when Bachmann falsely claimed she heard that “the HPV vaccine can cause mental retardation”? Republicans hear a rumor, and if it supports what they already wish to believe about a subject, will repeat it as fact without bothering to check it out first with a two-second Google search on their iPhone.

Jon Huntsman:

  1. Huntsman In 2007: ‘I’m Comfortable’ With Individual Mandate, Would ‘Make System More Efficient’
  2. Issue for Jon Huntsman: His family's Iran business – Glenn Thrush and Kasie Hunt – POLITICO.com
  3. Six Ways Jon Huntsman Would Hurt The American Economy
  4. Huntsman Campaign Fundraising Off Civil Unions Legislation He Never Signed
  5. Huntsman Bows To Right Wing, Reverses Position On Climate Science
  6. Huntsman Says He'd Launch A Ground Invasion To Prevent Iran From Getting Nukes
  7. PolitiFact rates “Mostly False”: Jon Huntsman says U.S. natural gas in greater supply than Saudi Arabian oil.
  8. Huntsman equated “one cubic foot of NG to one barrel of oil.” It actually takes about 5-THOUSAND cubic feet of NG to equal one barrel of oil.

     
    (Huntsman drops out and endorses Mitt Romney in advance of the South Carolina primary in response to polls showing his 3rd place win in NH did not provide the bounce he had hoped for.)

Buddy Roemer:

  1. Buddy Roemer says “Senator Joe Lieberman has a reputation as a reformer and a man of integrity, unrivaled in American politics.”
  2. Instant disqualification.

Creating and updating these list has been a lot of work, but it’s worth it if it keeps these insane, duplicitous, clueless, amoral bastards out of the White House… a more terrifying end to this country I could not imagine.

Other “Lists” still available for review:

 


Sign my petition for GREEN JOBS TOMORROW fast & cheap. Use those $4 Billion in oil subsidies to put Solar Panels on the roofs of 40,000 government buildings, or order 100,000 hybrid mail-trucks. Not only would this INSTANTLY CREATE JOBS, it would spark ENTIRE INDUSTRIES with a future, reduce our dependency on oil, reduce greenhouse emissions, and quickly pay for itself (and cut future expenses) with the energy savings. We need 5,000 signatures by December 20th (extended to January 20th).

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December 22, 2011 · Admin Mugsy · 4 Comments - Add
Posted in: Economy, Election, Energy Independence, Environment, Global Warming, Healthcare, Jobs, Middle East, Money, Politics, Racism, Religion, Taxes, War

4 Responses

  1. fastfeat - December 22, 2011

    Dude, that photoshop is AWESOME! Thanks, I needed that.

  2. Mugsy - December 22, 2011

    I’ve been wanting to do that pic ever since I thought of Mitt as “Mr. Howell” and Newt as “the Skipper”, but couldn’t until Cain dropped out of the race.

    (I had originally envisioned Palin as Gilligan.)

  3. Ebon - December 23, 2011

    If you’re interested, British bookies still consider Mitt Romney the favourite. Average odds for him are 1/2 on. Newt’s hovering between 3/1 and 4/1 while Ron Paul is up at about 6/1. The rest are such longshots that even I wouldn’t bet on them.

  4. URL - June 2, 2012

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